It has nearly been 3 years. 3 years since the day you fucked up.
In 3 years I have grown stronger and stronger every day. I have overcome so much; You, an abusive relationship and Anorexia. I finished School, college and found the best full time job for me.
I have been back there twice. I have seen you twice. 2 soul destroying times. But I’ve done it.
I saw you,
I looked at you.
You said nothing.
How cowardly of you, you sat there and stared. You watched me leave and you said nothing. I said nothing, god I wanted to shout in your face. I wanted to let Al kill you. I wanted him to hold you so I could hurt you. Like you hurt me, but as I walked past you I realised that you can’t hurt me no more. You can’t ever touch me again. Why should I be scared of a coward who took advantage of a naïve little girl? Hurting you wouldn’t be worth it. I didn’t want have to be that close to you. I didn’t want to touch you.
You, it has been 3 years and I am still alive. No matter how many times I hurt myself, punished myself and my body. No matter how many times I led awake dreaming of how to die. Of planning the best way to do it. I am still standing and I am better than ever.
You, it has been 3 years and you are gone. The Hallucinations, nightmares and nights of no sleep have gone.
After 3 long years. After Hundreds of appointments, meetings and sessions. I have done it. I have moved on.